Cultural differences

There's a pediatric "hospital" (we'd call it a clinic) on our block. Knowing that at least one of its doctors speaks English, I went there today to find out if they would be willing to endorse Elliott's passport and Australian citizenship certificate photos. It means they have to write and sign a statement that this is a real photo of a real person.

I went up to the reception desk, where at least four young women were working. One of them greeted me. I smiled. "Do you speak English?" I asked.

Hesitation. They all paused what they were doing and looked at me. One of them said she understood a little. So I tried to explain as best I could. This is my son. He was born five weeks ago. We are Australian. I need to get his passport and Australian citizenship certificate. I need a doctor to sign the photos...

They all looked totally lost. I sighed. "Do you understand?" I asked.

"More slowly?" said one.
"Oh!" said another. "Chotto matte." She scurried around the desk and out into the busy waiting room. She asked a woman there to come over to me. The woman laughed shyly and looked embarrassed (well that's what her body language said anyway; like 95% of the people in the room, she had a mask on). They came towards me. "Engrish titcha," the receptionist beamed, and ran back to her desk. The Engrish titcha continued to demur. I repeated my explanation.

Pause. "Do... you... need to... see a doctor?"
"Yes. But not for health. Just for signature."
"Oh. For signature?"
"Yes. For signature."
"Not for health?"
"No. Not for health."
"Ah!" This seemed to clarify things. The Engrish titcha spoke animatedly in Japanese to the receptionists. They spoke back to her. She spoke to me.

"This... is... small hospital. You need big hospital for signature."
No. No I don't. Come on peeps, can you just forget you're Japanese for a moment and dare to make a decision for yourselves without consulting a higher authority just this once? Please? As a favour to me? I just need a signature. It's not that hard. Really, I promise.
The Engrish titcha explained where the big hospital is. I pretended I understood, because I couldn't be bothered continuing the negotiation and I had a rough idea which hospital she was referring to anyway. I gave up, said arigato a few thousand times, and left.

Now before you assume that this is an isolated event not necessarily typical of the culture here, the same thing happened to me yesterday when I went to a different medical centre and they told me their doctor couldn't sign, and that I should go to the pediatric clinic.

I wanna go home.